My personal battle with the fear of making mistakes started back in my kindergarten days when a teacher, who clearly had no idea how to nurture young minds, taunted me and made me feel like I was a walking mistake. From that moment on, I was determined to avoid any situation that would make me look like a blunder in human form.
As I progressed through school, this fear clung to me like a persistent shadow. I hesitated to participate or ask questions, terrified of the possibility of looking foolish. Even when I had the right answer or a unique perspective to share, self-doubt held me back. I was haunted by the thought of being ridiculed for being wrong, so I opted for silence instead.
Little did I know that this fear would follow me into adulthood, undermining my progress and hindering me from achieving my goals. It’s funny how the fear of mistakes can paralyse us, preventing us from taking the necessary steps towards growth and success.
WHY DO WE FEAR MAKING MISTAKES?
But why do we fear making mistakes so much? Well, it’s partly because society has glorified perfection to an unattainable degree. We’re constantly bombarded with images and stories of flawlessness, and it seeps into our subconscious, making us fearful of making even the tiniest misstep.
We allow this fear to confine and control how we think and act, pushing us towards procrastination instead of productivity. We’d rather be paralysed by fear than risk looking bad.
Personally, I have always had a strong aversion to being embarrassed by mistakes. In my view, mistakes are intricately tied to my own identity and self-worth. When I make a mistake, it makes me feel like a failure. This perception was deeply ingrained during my early years when my kindergarten teacher publicly humiliated me, treating me as though I myself were a mistake. The memories of that distressing period remain vivid in my mind, prompting me to go to great lengths to shield myself from any future instances of shame.
If left unchecked, this fear can overwhelm us and wreak havoc on our mental health. So, when my life started to become ruled and ruined by this pattern, I knew I had to break free. Over the years, I’ve experimented with various methods, and I’ve discovered a simple yet powerful approach that works wonders for me. I call it W.I.G. – the ultimate fear-slayer.
BREAK THE FEAR PATTERN WITH W.I.G.
W stands for WHAT. When we make a mistake, we need to focus on the “what” instead of the “who.”
A mistake is about what we did, not a reflection of who we are as individuals. Our identities remain intact. By shifting our focus to the action itself, we can seek solutions and improvements.
As the late Steve Jobs wisely said, “Some mistakes will be made, by the way. Some mistakes will be made along the way. And that’s good. Because at least some decisions are being made along the way. And we’ll find the mistakes, and we’ll fix them.”
Moving on to the I, which stands for INTENTION. Our intentions matter because they shape our attitude towards mistakes and failures. If our goal is solely to achieve a successful outcome to prove our worth, then the fear of making mistakes will haunt us relentlessly. We worry about judgment and believe that one wrong move will expose our flaws and imperfections. However, if we shift our intention towards making a difference, for example, suddenly mistakes become motivators for improvement. We value what we are doing, and mistakes become stepping stones on our journey to creating a positive impact.
NThe final letter, G, stands for GOOD THING. A mistake is not a terrifying monster lurking in the shadows; it’s actually a good thing. When we view mistakes as bad and something to avoid at all costs, we end up stagnant and paralysed, unable to take action. But when we accept mistakes as valuable lessons, they transform into opportunities for growth. Each mistake becomes a piece of feedback that guides us towards improvement. In fact, some mistakes can even lead to surprising successes.
Take the story of Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce, for instance. This beloved condiment, used in a multitude of dishes, was actually an accidental invention. Lord Sandy, after tasting an Indian sauce in Bengal, India, commissioned chemists John Wheeley Lea and William Perrins to recreate the recipe. At first, the sauce wasn’t to their liking, so they stashed it away in a cellar and forgot about it. Two to three years later, they rediscovered it and were amazed to find that it had aged into a wonderfully flavoured sauce that captured the hearts and taste buds of many.
DARE TO TAKE ACTION
Let’s embrace the fact that without trying, we’ll never know what the outcome may be. Let go of the fear of making mistakes. Remember, mistakes are not permanent stamps of failure; they are mere stepping stones on the path to success. So, go forth with courage, learn from your missteps, and let your journey be filled with laughter, growth, and a sprinkle of Worcestershire sauce-like surprises along the way.